Crazy
by andinify
Summary: Millions of thoughts swirled through his mind, all the time he spent in summer practically turning the world upside down looking for her, came rushing back into his mind. But of all those places, the only word that could describe how much of a mess he was getting himself into to seek for her, halfway across the world was only one. Z/C, Z/B friendship. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, I am not Ally Carter, therefore I do not own Gallagher Girls. Not at all.

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**Title**

Crazy

**Summary**

Millions of thoughts swirled through his mind, all the time he spent in summer practically turning the world upside down looking for her came rushing back into his mind. There are lots of place he went to, all the places he thought he could possibly find her in somehow. But then, the word that came out later as his answer was the truest of them all. Because of all those places, the only word that could describe how much of a mess he was he was getting himself into to seek for her, halfway across the world was only one. ZC, ZB friendship.

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"You're alive."

It was what he said last before her tears start to fall. As they streamed down her face, he couldn't bear to see her that way he had to pull her close against his chest, trying in whatever way possible to make her feel better. Any way possible, actually. If only there could be some kind of magic to switch his mother's life with Cammie's father's, he was sure he would do that in a heartbeat.

But life isn't as easy as people hope it is. There is no way such impossible wish could be granted. And it kind of left him with the only option of comforting her in his arms, albeit fully knowing the little effect it would have. But he kept her close anyway, slowly lowered their entangled bodies onto the mat in P&E barn, right under the moonlight. If only this was a different circumstances, he's one hundred percent certain it would be a very romantic (and not to mention, a very cheesy) situation. If only.

She cried for what felt like hours. But he did not complain. Not at all. Despite how much he loathed himself inside for even thinking that way right then, he still felt the relief and comfort he found for himself as he held her nonetheless. Knowing that she was safe and sound, right in where he needed her to be. Even though he knew it was her who needed such comfort much worse than him. Even though he knew he was such in no state nor did he have any decent excuse to even think of that in this particular circumstances. But he did think and feel that way anyway. Because let's face it: he was just a boy. Somehow, somewhere, there was a part of a normal boy inside him, fighting to be free, to dominate his body and mind and basically himself. No such luck though, he's been living and growing up as a not-so-normal boy, so basically, any effort of that tiny part of him wouldn't do much. He was still the Zachary Goode he has always been.

But he also was very much aware, by the time he let his guard down for the particular girl who was right in his arms, somewhere in his sophomore year, he knew that part of him got a tad bit stronger. Beforehand, all he knew was how to be a spy-slash-assassin. A coldhearted one. Emotionless shell of a person. After all, it was all the woman he so unwillingly called his mother had ever taught him his entire life. No emotions getting in their way. Not until Joe, and later Cammie came into his life.

It was kind of disturbing really, how this girl brought the best out of him so easily, without even intending to, so unlike any other regular girls. But then, what is there from the Chameleon that common and regular?

Her cry had turned into a soft whimper, and instinctively, he tightened his arms around her small body, somehow hoping that she would know what he was trying to say.

He's here. He's exactly where he needed to be, and he was not intending on leaving anywhere and anytime soon.

Several minutes (which felt like hours) passed since then, and that's when he heard the soft footsteps approaching. Slowly, he craned his neck back to see who was it, and found Bex leaning near the entrance,

"So this is what you two have been-"

"Ssh," he glared at her, then glanced down at the now sleeping Cammie. Bex raised her eyebrows questioningly as Zach slowly moved Cammie to a more comfortable position before answering her unspoken question. "She's been crying over her dad. Fell asleep."

"Oh," Was all her answer. It felt weird, really, having someone watching him with Cammie. As much as Bex matters to him, Zach wanted more than her to go away and leave them alone. And it was simply because he never wants anyone watching him whenever his guard is down—which is always all the time he is with Cammie. Although a part of him also pretty much aware that no use in trying to hide it from Bex or Liz or Macey. Since Cammie's disappearance last summer, at least two of them are always with her 24/7, which means they had pretty much witnessed everything about him as much as Cammie had.

"Is it wrong for me to envy her somehow?" Bex spoke up again, and if he wasn't trained to maintain his emotions well he surely would have had his mouth fall wide open. Rebecca Baxter envied Cameron Morgan? That was quite unheard of.

Zach contemplated on telling her point-blank that she needed not to envy her, because goddamn it why can't women just see? He always thinks that women are all beautiful in their own way. Sure, not all female population of human are pretty, but all of them are definitely, irrevocably beautiful. It might just need someone to see the beauty in each woman, not just look through it.

But in the end, all he opted to finally ask was one mere word. "Why?"

The British girl before him just shrugged in such a nonchalant way as if it actually didn't bother her much; which in fact, he knew it did.

She was silent for a few moments, gathering her thoughts before finally answering. "I don't know. It's just... she's lucky, you know. Always has someone's arms to run back into. Even though she had just made the whole world crazy, even though she just-" Bex paused, lowering her voice as she continued, "-murdered someone. No matter what she does, she always has someone to run back to. Who cares for her, protects her like she is the most precious thing in the world for him."

It was almost impossible for him to fight the urge to smirk. See how he guessed it correctly?

Almost. He eventually managed to resist it though. Her last word was what made him reconsider flashing his trademark smirk. "Him?" He heard himself ask.

Bex rolled her eyes, then gestured toward him and Cammie. "Of course. No matter what you still care for her the same way."

Even without Bex saying it aloud, Zach knew it's true. No matter what Cammie does, he would never care for her differently. He knew how it feels like to be her, doing something he wishes every single day he could take back. He was trained to be the person Summer Cammie was, so if anyone understands how it feels like to be her—a master with guns, murdering people—as much as he loathes it, it was him.

But Zach did not tell Bex that. Masking back his face, he just cocked an eyebrow, staring at her for a moment before answering, "you do have people who love you too, you know. You have your awesome parents. You have your best friends. You have your entire sisterhood. They're all your family."

Zach didn't even realize the bitter tone in his voice as he said the word _family_. Bex must have had noticed it too, because her expression softened as she glanced toward the sleeping figure that connected them together, brought them somehow closer. "Family doesn't always mean those who are blood-related to you, you know. It could mean so much more than that. You have her, Zach. And us too. And Abby, Headmistress Morgan, Mr. Solomon. We'll all be your family."

This time, he let a smile crossed his features, let his expressionless mask fell for a moment as a ghost of smile made its way to his face. "Thanks. I appreciate that." But then he saw Bex's expression, and he quickly added, "a lot."

Bex smiled approvingly, then nodded toward her best friend. "Do not even dare to do any funny business to her."

To that, his shoulder shook with stifled laughter, afraid of waking the girl in his arms up. "Nah. If I do, you're absolutely going to have my head."

The grin on Bex's face, despite in the shadow of the night, was unmistakable. She turned around, and before she disappeared into the darkness, he faintly heard her mutter something that suspiciously sounded like, "smart boy."

Seriously, though. Bex should have known that he _is_ a smart boy. Wouldn't be an excellent spy-in-training if he wasn't, would he?

Now that they're alone again, he looked back down to the girl curled up against him. Her face was peaceful, void of all the fatigue and stress and all the burden she'd been carrying with her since the first time he saw her, walking back to the safe ground of Gallagher Academy mansion. Cammie looked a lot younger, not to mention with her petite body and angelic face, all combined into one. In that moment he couldn't help but wish that someday, if not soon, he could—would see her with her expression like this in her wake.

There was another half hour before she began to stir. She blinked, sleep heavy in her eyes as she looked up slowly to him. A flash of mixed emotion—too fast and gone he didn't even have the time to conjure what was it—swam through her eyes. "Go back to sleep," he soothed, his hand moved up and down, running through her hair.

She didn't speak right up. She didn't ask question directly like she used to. Instead, Cammie remained silent for a few moments, her eyes blinking slowly, drooping but she was yet to go back to sleep.

"Zach," he heard her calling him eventually. He didn't answer though, he waited for her to continue, letting her to take her time and gather her thoughts to fully figure out what she was going to say.

And when she finally did, to say he wasn't surprise would quite be a lie. "Where did you go? When you were looking for me?"

Millions of thoughts swirled through his mind, all the time he spent in summer practically turning the world upside down looking for her, all came rushing back into his mind. There are lots of place he went to, all the places he thought he could possibly find her in somehow. But then, the word that came out later as his answer was the truest of them all. Because of all those places, the only word that could describe how much of a mess he was he was getting himself into to seek for her, halfway across the world was only one.

"Crazy." He whispered slowly, his lips brushed her forehead lightly. "I went crazy."

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_**A/N: **__This just something that popped out on my mind yesterday. Past midnight. And I just could not resist to write it down immediately. To be honest, I hate Bex/Zach romance (with no particular reason, seriously I myself have no idea why), but I don't toward their bonding and friendship. After all, Cammie is the closest person, the one who brought them closer and I suppose, somehow, Bex deserves some more spotlight than she already has. It's just an interpretation of what possibly went through Zach's mind, though. Tell me what do you think?_


End file.
